Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
