Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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