So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i came on her dog
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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