She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize