Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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