Heybabeimwearingurpanties
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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