There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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