isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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