Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
