Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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