we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
