when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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