Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
