I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
