you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
