I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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