porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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