do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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