I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
