i wish there were pregnant emoticons
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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