If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
