sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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