...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize