he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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