Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
