He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize