It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
This is my gift to your gina
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
