so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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