i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
