well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
