pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
