I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
