yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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