what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I have so many feelings about this burrito
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
