You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
