We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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