mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Randomize
