Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
