She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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