If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize