Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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