It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
She's the barista slut.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
