She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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