so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize