So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
