dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
