i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
