Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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