I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
