She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
