the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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