absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
