i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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