I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
