my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
