I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I just found a bag of teeth...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
