I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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