Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
he fucked my hip out of place.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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